[00:00] Welcome to The Ziglar Show. I’m your host Kevin Miller, and this is episode 477. Today we hear from Zig, and let me tell you something…he is teaching on a topic that I absolutely believe is more important than any topic covered in formal education. It should be a foundational topic BEFORE any other. What is it? It’s personal relationship skills. Folks, there is nothing you can do to better your life on ALL fronts than learn how to better connect with people and gain their trust and interest. Nothing. And if you don’t know how to do that well, you are handicapping all your other efforts in the worst way possible. So…get ready to up your game!

[02:15] We’re going to hear a serious message from Zig today, and it’s sales. If you are new to Ziglar, let me fill you in: we believe everyone is in sales. Actually, it’s more than a belief, it’s a fact. So, today’s message is highly relevant for all of us. If you have a relationship with anyone on the earth, you need to know how to influence and care for them well. That is called…sales. So whether you are actually involved in literal sales in your profession, or you are just a human…you are in sales. We’re going to listen to Zig, then I’ll help you break down a few high points to help you apply the principles to your life now!

[02:55] Folks, if you’ve gotten value from Zig Ziglar, will you please help us and leave a rating and review in iTunes?! I was just reading a new one and it gives us encouragement, but even more so, it’s one of the main things that helps others find us. And If you’ll let us know by emailing us at ask@zigshow.com, we’d love to thank you personally!

[03:22] And on that note, it’s nearly impossible to listen to a show without having some thoughts, ideas, questions or concerns. I guarantee what you are thinking, others are too. Send those thoughts and questions to us for our upcoming Q&A shows! Go to ask.zigshow.com, or email us at ask@zigshow.com

[03:55] Ok friends, here, then, I bring you Mr. Zig Ziglar, then we’ll break down some of the high points so you can take action on them! And, remember, when he is referring to the sales professional, that’s you. When he is referring to the prospect, that is anyone you want to be valuable to, whether it’s your spouse, child, friend, coworker, boss, employee…anyone. When Zig refers to your product or service, you might replace it with your idea, your message, your desire, your perspective.

[04:18] I’ll tell you this, I have a large family. My ability to teach and train and guide my kids depends on EXACTLY the principles Zig goes over in today’s message. I have a new business initiative that is taking a load of sales to even get traction with the idea. Sales is personal relationships skills that we all desperately need!

[04:43] OK, here we go: Zig starts telling about questions and answers related to sales.

[13:22] I have four points that stood out from Zig’s message that I want to help you really grasp onto.

[16:01] So, friends, we have a large percentage of our audience here at the Ziglar Show who are involved in sales as a literal role in their work. Some are in sales as a profession, but many who have a small business, an idea, a product or service…many who are independent contractors, coaches, consultants, and many more who want to do something entrepreneurial. For you, you can take Zig’s message with 100% direct application.

[16:28] But, again, we can all take direct application by just being humans in contact with other humans. If you want to be trusted by others and be of value to others and be influential to others…Zig is giving us the foundation.

[17:02] 1 He says: “Questions are the answers” and “start with a need analysis.” Which you only obtain by…asking questions.

[17:12] You ask so you can understand someone’s needs, and here is the kicker…so you gain the most valuable thing in ANY relationship…trust.

[17:23] Have you ever dwelled on that much? That your number one benefit in any relationship is to gain the other’s trust? Without that, not much of value is happening. If you don’t have people’s trust, what do you have?? Authority? Tolerance? Or just…blah. Meh? Maybe you are entertaining. But do you have trust? If you make that the focus of your relationships, you will do nothing but find more of everything good in life. But have you ever looked at this as your main focus?

[18:50] So a primary open door is being interested in others. And you start by asking questions!

[19:02] There are very few people that you will ever run across who ask others many questions. Why? Their main desire is to talk. Be heard. Hope to impress or be important.

[19:14] So back to what I said, if you want to be liked, trusted, valuable , influential, attractive…let’s look at a quick list of things you should do. Let’s use the analogy of a date or a job interview:

  1. Be clean, take a shower, don’t smell bad
  2. Fix your hair
  3. Dress to fit the environment and person in an appropriate way. A mechanic wouldn’t wear a suit and an accountant wouldn’t wear overalls. A date at a park for a picnic in the summer wouldn’t wear snow skiing attire, and a date at the symphony wouldn’t wear athletic wear.
  4. Have a firm handshake
  5. Smile
  6. Then…ask questions! Most people go to a date or job interview and are completely focused on, “What do I say? How do I impress?” Same with someone trying to sell something or influence someone in any way. We think about what to say and tell. NO. Our job is what to ask! Be interested in the other person. Ask to know more about the company, or the prospective boyfriend or girlfriend. Get to know their needs and interests and desires. Then you can adeptly offer things that relate to the other person. Or you may find out…you have nothing in common or to offer and save both of you much time. I recently had a lady try to sell me on a medical intake form platform for our practice. I explained exactly how our practice works and why we obviously don’t need what they have. But she was dead set on her agenda of setting up a demo and pushed me until I finally had to give a hard NO. Then she still asked if she could follow up in a few months. Again, I said no. Now I don’t care to do anything with them, even if I DID end up needing what they offer. How different if she’d asked one question about us, told ME that we didn’t need her product, thanked me for my time, and in asking questions might have found out something we did need that she could offer or refer us to. But she, unlike you, didn’t hear Zig’s message.

[23:32] Right here folks, you can change your life. You can “change your stars,” as the quote goes from a movie I like, A Knight’s Tale. Every time you are with someone, ask them questions. Make a point of walking away knowing something about them. Be the most informed person about everyone else you can be if you want people to value you, trust you, and care for you. I do this even when I truly DON’T care, an admission. But I know the value of trust and can’t really afford to not make an effort for anyone and everyone to trust me. Is that disingenuous? If I stop and help someone with a flat tire, even if I don’t want to, did I help them or not? Of course I did! Serve even when you don’t want to!

[24:40] 2 Zig spends a little time talking about how people have become cynical and they can smell someone just trying to manipulate them, or someone who is just trying to get what they want.

[24:50] Folks, let’s look at that. Again, we are talking about you and me and our relationships. Do you have family members or friends or coworkers or managers or a boss who…you don’t enjoy talking with much? They usually spend all their time telling you something or trying to convince you of something or, basically, they are just totally interested in themselves and not you?

[25:12] Of course you know someone like that.

[25:16] The bigger issue is, who are YOU to other people? You may or may not know. But how do people perceive you? If you do not have the close friendships or respect from others you wish you had, or the influence you’d like to have…chances are nearly 100% it’s because people do not perceive you in a positive way, or…not positively enough.

[25:45] The reality is, few of us were ever taught how to be any certain way. We may or may not have had good examples.

[25:56] But we don’t have to dig too deeply to find some positive actions right now to help us all be trusted and desired by others, and from that, able to be influential and valuable to others.

[26:12] Zig lays it out for us…again…be a questioner. Ask questions. Imagine knowing the hobby of everyone you consistently come into contact with, that you can ask about, “Hey, how’s it going with your fishing, catch anything this weekend?” Or know about their struggles. Or know about an upcoming trip or event they are looking forward to. Maybe they are buying or selling or renovating their house. Everyone has something preeminent on their mind. Find out what it is. Or, heck, know what TV shows or sports they like that you can ask about. Anything is better than nothing. Unless it’s gossip or criticism. Then…nothing is way better.

[27:10] 3 Zig says true sales is about ethics – and discusses motivation vs manipulation.

[27:36] Now, I think we all know what manipulation is, but when Zig uses motivation in this context, what does he mean? In sales, we are talking about finding someone who has a true want or need, and finding a product or service that will fill it. That person will have fear of making the decision. We can serve them by helping motivate…lessening the fear. Removing the real and perceived obstacles. We’ll hit on that at the end in just a minute.

[28:13] But Zig contrasts manipulation and motivation, because so many people think getting someone to do what we want is about manipulating them. That is no good in the field of selling or any relationship. The people who do it in the process of sales are also the ones who do it to everyone, even in their home. They work to manipulate their spouse and kids and…everyone. That’s not you.

[28:48] True sales is motivating those who you know have desire for what you have and could truly benefit, or even if you think they need it but they tell you they don’t have desire, or if you discover what you have is not the best thing for them…you work to motivate them NOT to buy or do. You are there to advocate for them. I have one kid who I’m trying to motivate to buy a car, and another who I’m trying to motivate to NOT buy one. Different circumstances and needs.

[29:28] But Zig says the difference between manipulation and motivation depends on the intent of the person. Is it to get what they want? Or help the other person get what is best for them?

[29:54] You can sell a lot of people with manipulation…once. You can do what’s best for someone else and help motivate them to it over and over again. And anyone in business knows, or should, the most profitable person to sell to is the one you’ve already sold to. Over and over. They take less time and buy more and refer others.

[30:32] You have to truly care, or…decidedly care. I’m not a saint, I can’t make myself truly care about everyone on Planet Earth. Or even all those I come into contact with. But even if I don’t truly care, I can decidedly care. Ask the questions, help discern what is best for them.

[30:58] 4 Zig ends by giving us four aspects of questions, that again…are 100% relevant to the sales profession, but also any human interaction. Dating, job interview, connecting with family or friends or coworkers, motivating your kids to do their chores. Zig gives three questions to ask for:

[31:25] 1 open door questions – show interest in them. Who, what, when, where, how

  • What do you think about this?
  • How do you feel about this?

When was the last time you asked your coworker, boss, spouse, kid…or sales prospect, an open question to really understand them and know them?

[31:54] Then Zig says something small that is huge. Let the moment of silence or pause happen. Don’t offer anything because of your discomfort or need to be smart

[32:14] There are fewer pauses in human conversation today than ever, I believe. It’s harder to keep people’s attention. Ever talk fast or fill in any nano-second of silence because if there is a pause people will look to their Smart Phone?

[32:32] Pauses are gold. Great game to play. Ask, and pause. Let the silence happen and see what develops. Don’t fill the silence.

[32:45] 2 closed door question

  • Would you tell me more about..whatever?
  • What do you mean by that?

That shows huge interest. People love to be on the end of that. It creates endorphins, it’s like a drug. Don’t bring donuts to work, bad drug. Bring interest.

[32:28] Folks, whether you are a numbers and details person or not, you have to do your taxes. Whether you are an introvert or extrovert, you need to ask questions. I’m an introvert. Happy to spend days on end without speaking. I pursue taking interest in people because I know the value to others and me. But I don’t dally. I’m not the chit-chat over the water cooler guy. I’ll be shorter and to the point, but make it happen. So do it in the way that fits you.

[34:29] 3 yes or no – only after the others and we know the answer

[34:35] This is more of an actual sales-focused question, of course. But that sale can be trying to get your spouse or kid on board with something…or for me, one of my biz partners on a decision or direction or action I want us to take.

[34:55] But this involves “closing the sale.” My favorite — and about the only — perspective I take is the assumptive sale. It’s not a tactic; it’s what I tended toward as a kid…expecting the other would say yes. But…Want more on this?

[35:53] Folks, if you have questions from this message, ask…

[36:08] And if you got value, review in iTunes. Next week we have a great interview with a guest on a book that releases…next week. Stay tuned. And thanks for being here, as we walk together in inspiring our true performance!