And what should we do about it?
Zig gives us a 10-minute message on the power of what others negatively say about us…that we agree with. Then what WE say to ourselves…that we agree with. Nobody has permission to minimize who we are, and, as children of God, we don’t have the right to agree with minimizing statements. To walk this out, however, we must be very counter-cultural. The human norm veers toward negative statements. We must combat and reverse this. Listen in as Zig inspires us toward…our True Performance! OK, folks, there is your intro to today’s show. We’re listening to Zig Ziglar on stage giving a classic, profound message. And I’ll start you off by stating that most of humanity believes their self-image is based on their performance and what others say about them and testify to. Zig’s belief, however, is YOU determine and decide your self-image, and then you’ll act in the appropriate way to achieve the performances that will testify to your true, incredible self-image. Let’s do it…
Hey, everyone, I’m Kevin Miller, proud host of…The Ziglar Show, where we are here to inspire your true performance. If you aren’t truly inspired and motivated, equipped with a confident, faithful self-image, hope and a tangible goal, you are spinning your wheels. Which is why you are here, listening to the Ziglar Show. Let’s give you the true fuel you need to literally…succeed. Ten minutes of Zig and then we’ll hone in on some key points. Welcome…Zig Ziglar!
Eleanor Roosevelt, “Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.” Folks, that’s big. Many of you have had people in your lives who have criticized you, bad-mouthed you, accused you…and, in many cases, you know they were right. You DID mess up. You did not come through. You let someone down. You failed. They called you out and you agreed. But are you inferior? Do they also…mess up, not come through, let others down, fail? Of course. You can have regrets, but the biggest regret would be letting those regrets convince you that you ARE the regret. One of Zig’s favorite quotes is, “Failure is an event, it is not a person.” Listen to the last show, #426 with Roy Williams, where he tells us the blind spot of talented people, which is feeling like an imposter. And a big focal point is not thinking more of ourselves, but not thinking so much of others. But I want us to look at another point here. There are many of us who didn’t have others make us feel inferior, WE make ourselves feel inferior — for a multitude of reasons that I won’t dissect here and now. But many reasons — some that have viability, some that don’t. It doesn’t really matter. There is no truthful reason we should feel inferior to others; it’s an affront to God. It’s not to be arrogant or tear others down to our level, but to realize our value. “Don’t let anyone else make you feel less about yourself.” Your parents, your spouse, your boss, manager, coworker, a friend or relative. They are being…wrong. There is never an ok reason to make anyone feel less about themselves. That is wrong and it’s a crime. And we…shouldn’t agree with criminals. “How does your image affect your performance?” “How does the way you see other people affect their performance?” We think we are protecting people by not letting them get their hopes too high…so they might end up disappointed. So, to protect them from a possible disappointment, we minimize the very essence of who they are and, more so, who they might become!! Why did those who went back to school a decade or more later do so much better? You planned, prepared, and expected to do better. They went at their own expense. More invested…money and time, more purposeful. IQ the same, basic abilities the same. More pressures of life to deal with. “It’s called commitment.”
“You had proved over those years you could come through, do what it takes, be responsible.” “When the image changes, the performance is absolutely going to change.” In a study, “Successful people made a deliberate choice to associate with a different crowd.” “Well, they got mixed up in the wrong crowd.” “So you believe the crowd has something to do with what you do in life?” Crowd, who is influencing you. For most this is 1. Immediate family 2. Coworkers 3. Friends 4. TV/Media Does your family encourage, inspire you, call you to greater things? Coworkers? Friends? TV/Media you choose to engage with? Have you ever watched a good movie, or read a good story, been at a seminar or conference or some social engagement with people of a higher success… and realized that, for a bit, you have a different perspective on life? You see life and yourself differently. Better. Possibilities seem different? You can see a different reality? But then, quick as turning away and into regular life, you fall back into normal sight and expectations. What if we could enmesh ourselves in that different reality and actually…have a different vision and act accordingly? I think a lot of people daydream about remaking themselves, and believe it could happen. But…not amongst the realities of their current life. So, Zig and so many other leaders make big efforts to change their crowds. This is the magic of health clubs and gyms. Take the average out-of-shape person that has tried or wanted to try on their own, and put them in the gym. In a class with an instructor, seeing people of all shapes and sizes, and amongst that crowd, their reality and expectation increases! I recently invested in a social group of high-profile leaders. It’s actually a private wine club hosted by a money management firm. Now, I am fond of great wine, but I did this solely to be amongst these people, as it helps raise my own expectations of myself and my achievements. If you are struggling financially, go hang out with wealthy people. You’ll see they aren’t superhuman. Sometimes you’ll be surprised at how regular they are and it helps you to think…heck, if they can, I should be able to. But you also see the realities of what they do and don’t do. You learn, apply, adapt… This doesn’t mean you need to shun your current crowds. Just add in some others. Zig talks about memory, and how often people talk about aspects of memory they are not good at. What we repeat over and over becomes our reality. So why would we state anything self-limiting and program our brains this way? My wife has gotten me on this more than once. I grew up with the label of being impatient. Because…it was true! Nobody meant anything bad by stating the obvious. “Kevin likes ice cream, loves racing his bike, is good at word games and writing, and is really impatient. He doesn’t like waiting on or for things.” Later in life, it would come up from time to time and I just stated what I knew to be true, “Yeah, I’m a pretty impatient guy.”
My wife asked one time, “Do you WANT to be impatient?” And I had to admit to myself that I was fine with being impatient, I didn’t want to be patient, I wanted things…now, and was irritated at the world who often wouldn’t comply. “So how is that working for your attitude?” my wife asked.
“Well, it makes me angry a lot.”
So, she asked, “Then, would you rather have more patience?”
“Yes,” I admitted.
“Then quit telling yourself you are impatient.” Folks, rarely does a week go by where I’m not cognizant of an instance where I’m thinking in my head or saying out loud, as most of us do, something about myself that is negative or self-limiting. It’s more on my mind as my kids are involved in sports and competitions. Literally two days ago, four of my younger kids were in cross-country races. My 10-year-old is battling shin splints, and the week before was the only one of them who did not win their respective races. At the start line, I told him, “Hey, have a good race, you’ll do well!” And he said, “Uh…yeah, probably last.”
I immediately caught his eye and his expression said knowingly, “Whoops!”
I came over to him and whispered in his ear, “Hey buddy, you know you just programmed your brain.”
He said, “I know Daddy, I’m going to have a good race,” with all sincerity. He knows and understands. It goes back to Zig’s statement of, “Thinking positive won’t let you do anything. But it will let you do everything — better than negative thinking will.” You are what you eat! You also are what you tell yourself you are. Most people aren’t aware at all of the negative things they say about themselves. It’s socially condoned and expected. We greet each other that way.
“Hey, how ya’ doin’?” “Oh goodness, don’t seem to have my head screwed on today!” Ha, ha.
“Hey, you did a great job on that project!” “Oh, yeah, a broken clock is still right twice a day!” Ha, ha. Why do we do this? It’s just human nature that we have to combat. My wife will often respond to one of our kids who is downplaying themselves or saying something negative, “Hey, don’t talk about my kid that way!” We can’t let ourselves negatively program ourselves. And we must proactively…positively…program ourselves. Self-talk cards Last, Zig gives us a word on the power of personal successes and growth. We need achievements in our life that transcend mere survival. This is the power of hobbies and sports and creating things. I know a lot of people who have very fulfilling things they do outside of work, on nights and weekends, because it inspires them. Creating and achieving and pursuing. It’s powerful. Thanks for walking with me in inspiring our true performance!