What do you do to correct a bad attitude?
-Get time alone.
-Do something to actively release stress.
-Check in with your health – did you get enough sleep? Eat well?
-Serve and bless others.
-Get it out, write it down, give it to God.
-If I were legendary, what would I do?
-“No” just means “next.”
[00:25] Welcome to The Ziglar Show, where we inspire your true performance. I’m your host, Kevin Miller, and we hear almost three minutes from Zig Ziglar where he talks about maintaining the right mental attitude. It’s a powerful message. From it I asked on Facebook, “What do you do to correct your bad attitude?” Literally, when you get angry, frustrated, disappointed, sad…what do you do to overcome it?” I received possibly the most comments ever to any question we’ve posted…you’ll be greatly intrigued to hear what people shared. Tom Ziglar and I then had a great conversation as we read through the comments, really powerful stuff.
[02:42] OK folks, here then I give you today’s lead-off message from…Zig Ziglar:
[05:47] There you go, Folks. Now, let’s jump into the conversation with Tom Ziglar as he and I read through your comments:
[05:54] QUESTION: “What do you do to correct your bad attitude?” Literally, when you get angry, frustrated, disappointed, sad…what do you do to overcome it?
Johnny Miller: I literally give myself a 20-minute timeout where I go in a room alone or, if I’m at work, I go outside or away from all people. And I just sit and be present. It really helps to calm me down. It doesn’t change any of the facts, but it helps me be the person I want to be.
[06:52] Patricia Alton: I acknowledge what the feelings are, and look to where they REALLY came from (am I really that upset about having spilt my tea, or was it the 20 things that irked me during the working day?). Then I think on how I am working to demonstrate high-value behaviours, and what response best fits with that. Then choosing to act with intention rather than reaction. It has helped me manage emotions from which I previously felt overwhelmed.
[07:10] Dan Miller: I like to immediately get alone. I process it better by myself. And then I ask myself, “Is this really making me feel better? Is this helping the situation in any way? Is this the life I want?” Stoicism teaches that every time you get upset, a little life leaves the body. I know I have the choice.
[07:39] I love that. I know Dad had a great response if somebody would be asking, so I asked him something — especially if us kids asked him something — and it was (but I don’t know if the word irritating or maybe it was the wrong timing or…) kind of got him upset, this is what he would say: “If you want the answer now, the answer is no, but if you can wait until tomorrow, then we’ll see.” And, boy, what a great response for a parent to their kids, but also when we start to feel our emotions kind of take hold of ourselves, to just give ourselves some time. For me, the first thought that I have is, Did I get enough sleep last night? Because, usually, when one of my emotions starts getting going, it’s not necessarily that the issue is so astronomically big, it’s that something else is going on. And responding in the moment, which would really be a reaction and sort of response only, makes it worse. So I love the idea of taking some time.
Stephen Blevins: I do a recount of my food intake over the last 24 hours. What I’ve eaten is a direct correlation of my emotions and ability to control them.
[09:08] Maureen Swoager: This is huge!! Avoiding gluten, sugar, dairy, chemicals is so big. Also – memorizing Scripture and really taking them to heart, praying to God, If all else fails – fasting!!
[09:51] Sleep is definitely number one. Actually, this morning — I travelled late last night, got up super early because I was coming from the East Coast and so my clock was on daylight savings time messed up, east, west and so, literally, I had a conversation with myself this morning, knowing that my sleep tank is not full, that I was going to take it easy on any big decisions. In other words, I was not going to let a trivial or a seemingly big thing create a wave in my life based on how I knew I was feeling at that time and giving yourself that margin before it happens and out as a key to keeping your attitude up.
[11:05] FEEL IT AND LET IT GO
Jennifer Meisel: I take a walk and vent out loud to God – i probably look like a crazy person, but I need physical movement to get over it
[11:13] Rob Arnold: I work out to help blow off steam.
[11:15] Jason Smith: As a youth, I used to split firewood. I always said it was a constructive way to be destructive. Which allowed for a lot of teenage hormone to be burned through. And, eventually, I’d be too exhausted to to be angry. I’ve gone through periods where I make “angry art,” pounding metal into various shapes isn’t much different from splitting wood.
[11:31] Tyson E Franklin: I walk. It clears my head and allows me to reflect on what happened, how I reacted, and could I have been better.
[11:56] Yeah, I try to move on a regular basis. Dad had a great quote, Zig Ziglar quote, ‘Logic will not change an emotion but action will.’ And so everybody there was just mentioning that they were having a negative emotion and so they got action to kind of get it out. There have studies been done where you could listen to kind of beat, you know, heavy beat, very active kind of angry music for a little while, and then just start switching the tempo of the music to where you end up in a, let’s just call it a quiet praise and worship song, and your whole disposition will change. And so it’s something about recognizing the feelings that you have, validating and saying you know this isn’t good but “I’m going to get out and move, I’m going to get my blood flowing, and I’m going to get some of this tension, some of this pent-up stuff out.” So that’s a great break. I know people who are in high stress-situations, you can take that five or ten minute break during the day and just do a set of stairs, just get it going, and then come back and it’s like that deep breath that changes everything.
Jeff Batson: I start to think of things that I’m thankful for. I also pray, talk to God about how I feel.
[16:07] Elizabeth Roggasch: I take a deep breath, and lift up my concerns, frustrations, to God and ask that He help me overcome my emotions. I thank Him for what I have and my focus is immediately changed.
[16:19] Shawn Langwell: Pause. Pray. Smile, and find something to be grateful for.
[16:24] Barry Barrett: Take a deep breath and remind myself that for everything that I struggle with there are billions of people who live on $2 per day.
[16:53] Yeah, I have a phrase, I’m writing the book Live To Win right now, and I was actually going to write a section called “The Habitude of Gratitude,” and I found I have updated it. I don’t know if I was looking up Ben Franklin or the Noah Webster 1838 or 1828 Dictionary, but there’s a — “habitude” is a word, and it’s a combination of habit and attitude. I mean, and so the habitude, the habit, the attitude of gratitude, and Dad said that the habit of the attitude of gratitude is the healthiest of all. Recently, a study came out and it said kind of the opposite of gratitude as entitlement. Right? If we feel entitled, then we don’t get it, then we feel like we’re missing out, we’re being cheated — you know, people are taking advantage of us, and so we become easily offended; we become somebody who is touchy at our nerves or, you know, afraid, and people who have that entitlement attitude actually end up in prison far more frequently than people who have the attitude of gratitude. And here’s why: If you have an entitlement attitude or you’re not getting your fair share, then you justify taking what you should, you so rightly deserve, even if you don’t, and so you end up crossing the line over and over until you get caught. If you are grateful for all the little things that you have, then somebody blesses you, you get overwhelmed with it, but you don’t look out jealously, or envy somebody who has more, because you’re so grateful for what you do have, and so those people, they don’t cross that line.
Rocco Capra: Journal.
[18:58] Yvonne C. Hyde: Type or write out a long annoying complaint……….and then delete it before sending.
[19:03] Nicole Kristine: Lately, I have taken to journaling my thoughts and feelings, because getting it out on paper can help bring clarity and simply let out the anger.
[19:14] Matthew Adams: Call my wife, Michelle; we may not agree on everything, but having an accountability partner is key. Helps me from making anger decisions vs calm decisions. We both rely upon God…but hearing a rational voice helps.
[19:25] Brooke Munson: I track my husband down for a big bear hug. Going for a walk to pray or moving to a worship song helps. Other times I find a way to help or affirm someone else.
[20:05] One of the things that we teach in our Ziglar Legacy Certification, there’s a course that we teach called Building the Best You, and we have the exercise called “Dump It.” And what you do is you — and this would work great here — is you just get out a sheet of paper and you write down something that was said to you that was hurtful, it was negative, that set you back. In this case, it could be something that made you angry; a relationship you’re worried about; you just ride it out and then you give it away. You give it to God, you say, “Look, I can’t… and I’m not dealing with this anymore, I am putting it behind me, I’m dumping it.” And then you literally, you wad that sheet of paper up and, you know, you play Michael Jordan and you toss that sheet of paper from across the room into the trash can. And if you miss, you run up, you scoop it off the ground, and you slam it down and you walk away from it. And it, metaphorically, it really works; it really does release you. I can almost see people stand, you know, half an inch taller after this exercise because who needs to carry that weight around? So the idea of journaling it, writing it down, sharing it with a trusted friend, those are all ways to dump it. You know, one of the things I do here is I do kind of the positive opposite of this, when I’m feeling that way, if I text somebody, someone I love, you know, I go to one of my close friends and I just, you know, “Thinking about you, grateful for you, you made a difference in my life,” and, you know, it’s funny because, if all I need is a text, they will text me back and even though they don’t know it, sometimes they call me back and say, “How did you know I needed a call right now?” Right? But by reaching out to somebody who’s meant something to you in the past, they’re going to reach back and it just changes the direction of your thoughts.
Gerry Baird: I read inspiring quotes on the Internet.
[22:38] Daniel Lopez: I take a step back and re-evaluate the situation, then listen to music I can sing to. Oftentimes, I can forget a situation by singing (I do it by myself, though, because I’m not trying to break eardrums in the process) in showers and car rides exclusively! It’s hard to be mad when you are singing your favorite songs.
[23:32] I have down and, you know, you create your own playlist, you know, it’s so easy on your iPhone or any device these days to have a playlist, that I would have one playlist, yout inspirational list, you know, could have upbeat songs, praise and worship. You could have Zig on it, but I would have another playlist that, like the first five minutes is just, you know, just heart-pounding loud and, you know, maybe even kind of angry music, and then to have it just shift over into, you know, more of the positive and how you want to feel, because sometimes we just, you know, it’s good to just get up and jump around in, you know, get that stuff out, create that playlist. I also have the I Like drawer. At the company we do things called “I Like…Because,” and if you’re home with your family this is kind of cool. You just, for your family member, you have “I Like…”; at the top of the page there’s a blank, write their name and then the word “because,” and so what you do is when somebody in your family or friends, somebody you love, somebody you work with, you like, you write their name and you tell them why and if you’re close to them just, you change the, cross out the word “like” and you put the word “love.” And so here in the company for thirty-plus years working here, I’ve got a drawer full of those bad boys. And so if I need some inspiration like, you know, somebody just kicked my cat. I’ll pull that drawer out now, read through the years things that people have said about me, and it takes me back to that moment when it happened and when they get it and it’s just like reviewing a victory list — same kind of thing, but that’s inspiration to me.
[25:45] CALL YOURSELF OUT
Christopher Lochhead: I ask myself, “If I was legendary, what would I do right now?”
[26:42] I love that! I’m looking it up right now. We had a Rick Gray. Rick raised on my Facebook fan page, or just on my Facebook, so he sends a video over and he tells the story of his friend who, her dad spoke at one of these huge events and dad was having lunch in the V.I.P. room where people are paid extra and his friend is walking through the room and he’s got his six-year-old and his nine-year-old with him, who had heard Dad speak in the main session that morning. And he comes up and he taps Dad on the shoulder and he says, “Mr. Ziglar, I’m so and so and I want you to meet my two sons.” And he said Dad stood up, turned around, got down on a knee, looked at the two boys, put his hands on the first one, the six-year-old, spun him around, looked at him, and then did the same thing with the nine-year-old, and said, “Yup, I knew it.” And the boys said, “Knew what?” and he said, “I can tell ’em from a mile away. You two are winners.” And I’ve heard fifty people tell me that story since Dad passed away. And that is legendary, and the point is that I sit here and I say to myself how many times have I had the chance to do that? Right? Because, you know, you’re out in public, you meet somebody, they say, “Hey, this is our son, Johnny, you know, he’s seven,” and just to lean over a little bit and do that one thing.
[31:34] COMEDY RELIEF
Dave Munson: I throw things around, break stuff over my knee, and punch someone in the lip and then the bad attitude just seems to go away. It’s how I turn my frown upside down.
Logan Kimberly Ritchhart: For me … this is a constant in my life… it’s too easy to be negative and/or have a bad attitude when I don’t like a situation or event. When confronted with this…before I even open my mouth… the very next thought is… how is this affecting everyone around me? I confess this is extremely hard to do… but I am responsible for the energy I bring into a room.
[32:50] Cassandra Higginbotham: I used to get easily irritated or annoyed and would let it ruin my entire day. It literally takes a toll on your body more than an intense workout. These days I’m much different and I ask myself, how is this anger or frustration going to help me?
[33:04] Kimberley Wiggins: I mainly self-reflect. So when I calm down, I can usually see the forest for the trees somewhat, and I think about what I should have done. I always realize that I give away a great deal of my power when I get angry, frustrated, or upset, especially if I lose it. So I make a concerted effort to pinpoint on something of gratitude the next time I feel that I am getting a bad attitude.
[34:38] You know, for me, part of it is reframing, and for those of you who are in sales or in, you in a business where you get told no a lot, I was having a sales conversation today and one of the things that I’m really excited about is we’re developing a new relationship, a new partnership with Sandler Sales, and one of the Sandler things that they say is “no means next.” Actually, you know, when you have invested a lot of time into something, whether it’s a sale situation, a relationship, moving a project forward, and you get the — if you have pre-planned in your mind that no simply means next, then that is a different situation, because what we’re looking for is, you know, the reality is the more problems we solve, the more successful we become, the more people that we help. And so, when we get a no from somebody, it frees us to find the next person we can help, the next sale that we can make, the next relationship that we can get invested in, and it’s very, very difficult, it’s hard, it’s a lot of maturity to look at it that way, and sometimes you’ve got to, you know, you’ve got to get told “no” four or five times, but the reality is there is always a next. And so, the question we’ve got to ask ourselves is, is our current response or reaction delaying the next next? And so, what we’ve we’ve got to get focused on is what we can do. Dad said this, it’s not negative to identify a problem but it’s negative to focus on it. So we identified the problem and then we focused on the solution and that is really a sign of sure, and so if you could like, if you could have a mental model that says ok, some things happen I don’t like, OK, what’s my response? OK, I’m going to make the decision just to do the opposite, what did I do wrong, what could I have done better, and then I’m going to move as quickly as possible to the next.
[43:49] OK friends, I hope you got some ideas on how you can better deal with your bad attitude. If you got value, would you let us know by leaving a review in iTunes? That’s the best way to say thanks. Coming up next in show 558 we bring you…Stu McClaren. Stu McLaren coaches and consults New York Times best-selling authors, top-rated speakers, experts and niche celebrities on how to launch, grow, and scale high-profit, recurring-revenue streams, but his primary forte is helping people launch and grow profitable and fulfilling membership sites where the point is…human connection and relationships. In the show we talk about Stu’s personal journey that brought him such huge success and why he’s devoted himself in his work to helping people connect, and through that in his personal life, helping some of the least fortunate on earth…he and his wife build schools in Kenya. You will be inspired. Till then…