-Set up your life so you get good sleep, eat good food and get some exercise.
-Always have one on one time
-Put yourself in environments where you’re learning and being fed good knowledge.
-Intentionally putting value and investing into experiences and learning.
-Learning business and marketing.
-Seeking truth from all things, and bringing bigger perspective to life.
-Have your priorities clear, and focus on what matters to you.
-Family time, reading, traveling, just the simple things.
[00:15] Welcome to The Ziglar Show, where we inspire your true performance. I’m your host Kevin Miller and today we behind the scenes with Ben Hardy and follow the Ziglar wheel of life, walking through Ben’s challenges and healthy habits in the 7 spokes. Some highlights, He puts a priority on sleep, for himself, but also for his 3 newly adopted kids. he loves working out and listening to great messages on audio books. To stay mentally strong, he works to put himself into groups of people where he’s the dumbest in the room. Even in a year when he only made $12k, he invested in himself and shares some amazing stories. Spiritually he’s just fervently seeking truth. Not religion…from all people. You’ll enjoy this show friends. Connect with Ben and check out the book at benjaminhardy.com. I’m enamoured with the message of “Willpower doesn’t work” and moments ago gave out the third copy of the book.
[02:30] 1. Physical: Yeah I mean, I think that physically when we’re talking about you know making improvement is sleep, exercise and diet, you know I mean I like many people. I sometimes I mean I love good food you know and so I mean I’m not like I’m not always trying to be like 100% like no sugar. I mean I think it’s good to enjoy life. For me what I do is I obviously do love working out I enjoy that what helps me is as I listen to audiobooks while I work out, often stuff like Ziglar and I work out usually so I have a morning routine that helps me with that. So I wake up, I usually spend about an hour before I workout in my car outside the gym literally and that’s kind of my secret environment where I listen to audio stuff like Ziglar other audio books or stuff like that and then I write my journal, visualize my goals things like that and then I go into the gym and work out usually for like 30 – 45 minutes, try to push myself. And so I mean obviously we all go through ups and downs you know with our routines and I mean so one of the things about brain plasticity is that your brain can and can change but it doesn’t change very well if you do the same routine behaviours over and over again. So if you know there’s people out there who do the same workout routine over and over again they’re not really getting stronger you know and if you think about the idea of deliberate practice like continually pushing yourself, that’s how you change your brain in a healthy way as you push yourself. There’s a lot of great research that shows that when you really push yourself physically with fitness, it actually increases your brain functioning. And so rather than just doing the same routine exercise I think it’s good to have an exercise routine but you’re always changing that routine up, you’re always pushing yourself in different ways.
[06:50] 2. Family: Yeah I mean so a lot of it’s just actually having one on one time when we were home you know so like our kids that when we got them all, they were like all a year behind in school. You know like and so we’ve spent a lot of time in our evenings for example, one is you know when I’m done working got to be done you know and that’s a continual battle even still like trying to resist the technology addictions but when I’m home and it’s like we have dinner together, we play together and then we’ve given our kids you know a lot of one on one, is far is like homework like we’ve got a piano with an app that teaches them how to play piano, you know we help our kids with reading programs or just reading or writing in the Journal and stuff. And so giving one on one is one thing that’s really good. One thing that I’ve done that’s been really helpful for me in developing healthy attachments and stuff with these kids is doing monthly daddy dates, one on one with each of these kids. You know where like all literally sitting all interview him, not like in an intense rigorous way but like just trying to create a closeness where they can trust me to talk to me and then we go out and just do some hour long activity that they want to do. We’re just one on one just me and them you know and one on one time and then just regularly leaving as a family and having family days you know whether that’s just shown on a Saturday where we go out and go to Costco and go to the zoo or you know whether it’s just like taking regular family vacations like for example like when we adopted our kids like it we just immediately left and we would spend three days at Disney you know like there’s kind of like many retirement things but as a family just like spending time with them, being engaged, doing things that are active and just having fun and and just literally kind of like with anything you got put on the schedule you have to like make time for it and you know what you do you become. And so actually spending time doing it and being engaged to fathers help me to become a better father.
[09:19] 3. Mental: Yeah I mean, I’m always listening to audio books sometimes reading physical books but what I like doing is listening to audio books and having my journal out and taking a lot of intense notes. And then you know like I said in a prior episode I invest in mentorships and vessel relationships. I put myself in situations where people where I’m definitely one of the dumbest people in the room where I can learn from them from other people and I’m always you know thinking about collaboration working with people who are in totally different industries than me or have totally different expertise in and combining different ideas. And so I mean a lot of it just my own self directed education a lot of it’s experience learning I mean for me becoming a foster parent was intense mentally because it forced me to like think differently about a lot of things but when it comes to business and self-improvement investing in mentor ships, investing in relationships and doing different collaboration with people with way different skills.
[10:34] 4. Financial: Yeah I mean; I always can get better as far as is that’s concerned. My father in law is a you know he’s done very well financially but he’s a very blue collar guy, he fixes up low income apartment complex’s lives in them even though he’s done well financially, he lives in like the apartment complex’s he loves buying and fixing up cars, he buys like cars a car auctions with like hail damage and stuff he lives out in Omaha where it hails a lot. And so I mean one thing is just like we’re not we enjoy experiences and we enjoy nice things but we’re not materialistic so like me and my wife both drive cars that her father bought at a state options like they’re not super nice cars even though we could afford to get nicer cars we don’t. But as far as like you know building wealth or becoming successful quote unquote, I’ve been studying self-improvement for a long time and then once I started writing online which I would not have done had I not become a foster parent, like again I said I think the other episode but it wasn’t until the demands of my situation literally forced me to think more seriously about life that I started writing finally. But I started investing even just a little bit in my writing career and that’s really where I got became committed. So that the first big investment and again this was in my first year of my PhD program, I was making 12,000 dollars a year as a graduate assistant.
[18:04] 5. Spiritual: Yeah I mean faith is so big in our lives. So I mean obviously we have our own you know church and religious congregation or part of that we are active in and we serve and you know the study scriptures, study good books you know for me how I view it’s just seeking truth you know to seek truth wherever you can find it not being so tied to one type of religion but really just seeking truth from all people. You know so I seek truth whenever I find out whether that’s science, whether that’s religion and I definitely you know believe in God. And, so for me you know prayer is a powerful thing. And yeah I just I mean family for me is everything, I mean I believe this family is you know where our best learning happens it’s where we get to experience our faith at the deepest levels and and then just you know it gives me perspective in life as well. For me you know I believe I have a purpose here I believe that other people have a purpose here I believe that you know there’s more to it than just this life I mean that those perspectives allow me to do what I do it allows me, not to get so caught up in like comparing and competing and stuff like that and more just like you know appreciating other people and also them it allows me to go big on things too because I believe that there’s other forces at play. So yeah I mean faith is you know I’ve talked to my recently talked my little brother about this but it’s what allows me to enjoy the pursuits I take because it allows me to go big it allows me to see magic happen and it also allows me not to look down on other people if they’re not doing as well.
[19:58] 6. Career: Yeah I mean it’s very turbulent, I think that anyone who’s seeking rapid growth is going to go through some turbulence. And I think your kind of have to just embrace that reality that it’s not going to be stable. And so I mean I really like the book ‘What Got You Here Won’t Get You There’ and it said that you know just because something worked to get you to a certain level doesn’t mean it’s going to work to get to the next level and always adapting, evolving, trying new things and so I mean right now like for example when it was building up the email lists and kind of getting the first book contract. My whole focus was on just writing tons of articles you know and then once you get the book contract you need to learn how to like write a really good book because writing a good books is different in writing articles. And so you know then you have to get a different level of education and then once the books can read it come out well you need a bunch of people to help you sell it you know and so then you’ve got to like build a network. And so it’s just not getting stuck at every level but yeah I mean there’s lots of turbulence along the way I mean when you’re going through fast growth.
[23:27] 7. Personal: Yeah you know I’m a really big believer that you can actually shape your desires. I talked about it in the prior episode that I believe that you know our personality is fluid it’s not six and so I’ve actually purposefully shaped kind of the things that I find joy enjoyment in. I mean I love being around good people. I love just you know relaxing sometimes watching amazing, interesting movies being with my family, reading good books or interesting books, traveling, eating good food and just you know sometimes just hanging out at home. I mean really, I like just living a good simple life when it comes down to like what fills me up you know but all that stuff fills me up because I really try to push myself hard on when it comes to like my career you know stranded myself with intense mentors you know on staff but it allows me to really appreciate just the simple things.
[24:53] OK friends, I hope you are really rethinking your willpower and how you wield and rely on and hope in it. Again Connect with Ben and check out the book, Willpower doesn’t work, at benjaminhardy.com. Coming up next in show 554 we listen to a presentation clip from…Zig Ziglar. Talking about how to move from “reacting” to responding. From this I posted on my Facebook page at agentkmiller…where so many of you keep friending me to join in the conversation, “What is something in your life that you used to “react” to, negatively, that now you are able to more positively “respond” to? For example, a relationship or circumstance (job, finances, handicap, etc…) that had a lot of negative control over your emotions.” You’ll be a bit surprised to hear some of the vulnerable things people shared, and Michelle Prince and I talked through. Till then…