[00:12] Welcome to The Ziglar Show. I’m your host, Kevin Miller, and today we have Jordan Harbinger of The Art of Charm fame back with us after our main interview in the last episode, talking social skills. In this show we are going behind the scenes with Jordan to look at his own personal development. Where is he strong, where is he weak, what are his personal habits to help inspire HIS true performance? If you didn’t catch the first show, episode 489, make sure you get it,;it’s truly significant. And if you get value, you know what to do — please leave a review in iTunes and let us know!
[01:00] Here, then, I bring you round two with Jordan Harbinger.
[01:09] All right, Jordan, we went deep into your personal development enterprise and a gigantic issue of emotional value. And you work in the heart of personal development. While hitting so many areas, your primary focus was on relationship. But look at the overall Ziglar Wheel of Life — personal, physical, family, mental, financial, spiritual, career. These are the areas where we wanna be fully rounded on personal development and success. I wanna know about Jordan. I mean, look at those areas. Where are the scopes for you? What are your great strengths?
[02:03] Sure, so there are so many concepts where I feel like, first of all, you can’t teach stuff without adapting it. I definitely think that one of the major concepts that is really taking me through a lot of garbage — and also taking me through good times — is leaving everything better than you found it. And that took me a while to realize. This isn’t just being nice to everybody. This could be ad simple as, “Ok, I need to make this person’s day better and not worse. In place of changing my mood, I need to work on a little bit externally.”
[04:15] You are talking about personal awareness and sensitivity, and, alternatively, caring enough about somebody else. I am a people-pleaser; it is hard to have those hard conversations out of care. Is that something that came naturally to you?
[05:18] Not really; a little bit of yes. I mean, more so, I mean, my dad was working a lot and my mom was around a lot and she was kind of a sensitive person. And I remember early on being the kind of kid where, I would be sitting next to a pretty girl and she tells me that her parents are getting divorce. And I was like, “Why are you telling me this?” And I’d be hanging around and talking with other guys, and I remember having such communication, and I can see the channel of communication. However, there were other social channels with which I was completely clueless.
[07:38] Well, so, speaking of channels here, you were talking about your own personal development, your own journey from where you were before to now. But a long way. Where have been those areas where you had to work harder?
[08:33] I grew up as an only child and so — this sounds so dumb to verbalize! It’s sometimes hard to remember that you are not the only person in the equation, because the other people I was dealing with in the equation were my parents. And they were just like, “We have given everything to our kid!” I played sports a lot, and I got injured in football and so I got in the administration and became a coach. So it took me a long time, even in my business, to go that I need to think about what other people of my age prioritize. A top-down decision for me as a football coach. At age 15, or me as an only child, bugging my parents until they said yes or would tell me to go to my room. And it took me a really long time, and I still work on these things.
[11:39] You just got married. So in your relationship with Jane in four months, anything relate to surprise you? “Didn’t realize that I was blind there, a little off there”?
[12:01] Let’s see, we were dating for so long before that I feel like not a lot has changed other than it is much more permanent now. We complement each other well, in that she is a very giving person. So I have learned to not let her sound like one of those weird fake things you hear in job interviews. So I help her become not less giving. but I help her become — had to stop taking too much, because it is easier than thinking about what I can add to a relationship.
[13:43] My next question is in regards to how Jordan does and doesn’t want to be perceived by his audience, to remind you to get engaged with Jordan’s art of charm by joining artofcharm.com.
[16:26] It is a weird balance, because the audiences are in such large numbers. I can ask any question about opinion and I get a million replies to both things. You need to stop worrying about the opinions that contradict the person you wanna be, because I worried way too much. It is easy to listen to a hundred people saying that “you have changed my life,” and one person who will criticize you. So you will not think that, “Oh, my God, I should stop this!” You know that you are looking at one stark review by one person and the other 99 point five stark reviews, and you are like this guy, “How dare you?” And you don’t think one in a hundred, who cares? It is fine. I am ok with that. And it took me a long time to stop focusing on that and it is still in progress.
[19:06] Friends, thanks for tuning in. Our next show is episode 491, where Jordan gave us his favorite Zig quote and value. From it we posted a question to the Ziglar social media platforms and got some incredible comments. We’ll play the clip from Jordan, then my co-host, Michelle Prince, and I will share the comments and talk through them with you. If you found value here, thank the Ziglar family by leaving us a review in iTunes. We’d be incredibly grateful. Here’s to you…inspiring YOUR…true performance.